I Guess You’re Wondering Where I Been…
- Jesikah Wells
- Nov 3, 2024
- 7 min read
First, let me say that I love everyone and I’m truly grateful for those whose concern came from a genuine heart (you know who you are). Taking the pen back allows ME to tell my story. This is a place of victory, not victimhood. Also, keep in mind that this is only a surface level overview. You’ll need to tune into my podcast for a deeper, more immersive experience.
Now, where have I been…
Honestly, on a journey! A journey that started long before I relocated. I want to say it began around 2020, not too long after my divorce was finalized. I had so many plans for my newfound singleness, but God had other plans. And let me tell you, His plans will surpass ours any day.
So, I had to pull away. I had to unplug. I had to cut some things and people off. It was all part of the process. Two of the most important things I’ve learned on this journey are setting healthy boundaries and standing up for myself. Trust me when I say it is okay! Never allow anyone (and I mean anyone) to disrespect you, and never acquiesce to a false narrative of your character. Creating boundaries with other people builds your self-respect.
Ladies, this is important for us. I mean, it’s important for everyone, but of course, I have to speak specifically to my ladies. Ultimately, people will believe what they want to, and that’s okay as well. Those with eyes to see will see you. Those with ears to hear will hear you. “Misunderstood” is not a title that you have to live under. Your people will “get” you.
There were plenty of times I wanted to, and even thought I was coming back to social media, but it wasn’t time. I have so many pictures, quotes, videos, etc., that I thought I was going to post, but it wasn’t time. Who decides when it’s time? Well, when you live a life yielded to the Lord, He does. William McDowell’s song comes to mind right now… “I Give Myself Away.” (It’s an old one.) But I digress.
So here I am on this journey, going through this process. I’m in and out of isolation, but mostly in isolation, and I’m talking post-COVID. I get to a point where I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I’m working in ministry, working a full-time job, and running my business, all while being the sole provider for my boys. I often felt like I was burning the candle at both ends. So I began to pray for radical change. Sometimes I pray or speak things without even considering what I’m saying. All I knew was something had to change. I knew that what I was living was not my life.
Here I am, praying and fasting, while things around me start falling apart—one thing after the next—until I had no other choice but to make a decision. Do I stay where I am, or do I go where I’m being sent? I need you to put on your spiritual goggles. I tried to stay, I tried to find new and different solutions, but it was a failure. Let me interject—I knew where I would be moving years ago. Personally, I thought it would look different, but God does what He wants. Scripture says His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts (I’m paraphrasing). He made me so uncomfortable and disconcerted that the only choice I had was to move. My perspective had to shift.
I pray and I begin to ask the Lord how, and tell Him what I want. I even told Him that I just wanted to rest for two months—I didn’t want to work, just rest and regroup. Being human, I still applied to jobs, but not one of them came through. We can’t be upset at how the Lord answers prayer. Everything else happened seamlessly. I had a little over two months’ worth of monthly expenses saved up, and I was ready to go.
This move had been one of the most nerve-wracking experiences I've ever faced. It's been on a level I've never encountered before, yet what amazed me was the profound peace that accompanied it. There's really no way to fully explain it. As I travel, God speaks to me, and I receive download after download. Still nervous, but filled with joy and peace. However, none of this prepared me for the uphill battle that lay ahead.
One of the signs that you're in alignment with God's will is the warfare. It's somewhat questionable if on your Christian walk there isn't any. The challenge lies in discerning whether it's warfare, a burden I've imposed on myself, or even spiritual interference. Yes, I said spiritual interference. It could be a mix of all three. If you're connected to the Lord, He won't leave you in the dark, nor will He let you go under.
Furthermore, tribulations and trials aren't always consequences of sin (Romans 3:23). Sometimes, God allows things for our processing, pruning, and refinement, preparing us for our calling. Just as a loving parent wouldn't burden their child with more than they can bear, the overwhelming challenges may signify that you are destined for significant purposes. Rest assured, during these times, the Lord remains steadfast by your side (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Everything was going smoothly, and then suddenly it wasn't. By middle the third month, I had undergone a few interviews and received a promise that fell through. At that point, my life was literally prayer and fasting. I needed answers. I found myself asking God, 'You didn't lead me here for this, did You?'
People laugh when I say that the Lord operates in two speeds: slow and suddenly. He marks restoration with speed and I’m a testament that he’s always on time. I secured a position as a Career Services Coordinator at a beauty college, which I appreciated, but it wasn't enough. It taught me the distinction between being content and being complacent. A content person is satisfied yet continues to work towards goals, always moving forward. A complacent person is satisfied and makes no effort to improve or grow. Some people prefer you to remain complacent because it keeps them comfortable.
Why? There are many reasons for this, but I won't delve too deeply into it as I'm not a licensed psychologist. I'm simply grateful that God is not like man. You can decide what's best for you, but for me, I am determined to keep moving.
I was working the job, playing catch-up, when one day in prayer I said to the Lord, 'I don’t want to be here past March' (I had started in September). Well, the Lord honors those who honor Him. He opened a door where I could choose where I wanted to work. I had five different interviews in one week—it was a crazy time. The last three were in Annapolis, about an hour from my house, but as always, we're moving forward.
I attended one interview and knew immediately it was the one I wanted. I told the Lord, 'I want that one, if it be Your will.' In March, I started my new position in Annapolis!
How do you know when you are where you’re supposed to be? Mentally, physically, and emotionally, it will align with you. As I walk the streets of Historic Annapolis to the office, traffic stops so I can cross. A lady from her car shouted, 'I LOVE YOUR BAG! HAVE A GOOD DAY!' I hollered back, 'THANK YOU,' and smiled. Y'all, I bought this magenta pink Marc Jacobs work bag before I even got the job. I just knew I was going to need it for work. I'm a lover of all things pink, from baby to dark. I buy and wear what I like, and it just works. I don’t know any other way to explain it. But I often receive compliments on my walk from the parking garage to the office.
I made that commute for nearly three months, and anyone who knows me understands I'm not fond of driving. My lease was ending in June, and I faced the another decision to stay put or move. Put on your spiritual goggles again. It was prophesied to me that a door would open for me to find a home near my workplace. Taking that word to heart, I began my search. Economically, I scouted the surrounding areas.
I found a condo I liked about 30 minutes away from Annapolis, so I applied and entrusted it to God, saying, 'Father, I want that one if it's Your will.' I didn’t get it. Then, while at work, I spotted another condo for rent nearby and decided to check it out on my lunch break. It’s just an 8-minute drive from my job—I could even walk if I wanted to. I applied and was approved the next day. Within two weeks, I had moved in!
It's all God, and He's not finished yet!
My key takeaways are this: When Jesus says yes, nobody can say no! Yes, I did something that didn’t make sense to many, but I have yet to find in the Bible where God asked anyone for permission before He decided to act. Instead, it does say that He uses the foolish things to confound the wise. Sometimes, radical obedience is essential on this journey. Radical obedience positions you for miracles. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.
I also learned that God hides things He loves. Would I do it again? Yes, I would, but Lord, I pray I don’t have to."
More grace and blessings. Part II will be posted next week.
BLU Lucas & Music - Good Place
Mary J - Just Fine
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